Jack, Mary the Devil and the Rabblewouldbegone
Jack and Mary were travellers. They had
tramped the highways and byeways all of their lives and finally Mary had had
enough, “It’s time to find somewhere to live, to put down roots and make our
own.”
They came to a broken down house, by a
river, with a small town a mile or two away.
“This will do. Let’s find out who owns it
and settle on a rent”. But no matter who they asked they could not find who
owned the house and its land.
They set out fixing the house up and then
turning the soil ready to plant seeds for lots of food to eat and sell.
Just as Jack was digging some rich manure
into the soil, there was a terrible, sulphurous stench that wafted towards him.
Looking up he saw a fine, green velvet be-suited creature, not quite man not
quite monster. It had hooves where there should have been feet and boots and on
its green bearded head was a tall green velvet top hot with horns sticking
through the brim.
The Devil looked at Jack, “What are you
doing in my house and on my land?”
“Why I’ve fixed up the house and I’m
preparing the land for our first crop. It’s been hard work.”
“If you want to stay here,” laughed the
Devil, “You must pay me rent!”
“But I have no money, only this penny to
buy seed to grow our own food.”
“I will take your harvest in that case, so
you’d better work hard!”
“Ah,” said Jack, thinking fast, as he knew
they would need as much of the food that they could grow to survive the year
for themselves, “ Let’s split the harvest? We keep half and you have half?
Would you be wanting the top half or the bottom half of the harvest?”
“What? why, why, why...the TOP half. Yes.
That’s what I’ll have and I’ll be back after the Harvest to collect the rent.
Work harder!” and in a puff of stinky smoke, the Devil was gone.
With the ground prepared and the deal
struck with Devil, Jack and Mary went into the small town to buy seeds to grow.
They sowed the seeds, watered, weeded and
worked hard all through the summer. Come the harvest they had a fine harvest of
potatoes, turnips, carrots, radishes, beetroots, swedes, onions, sweet
potatoes, celeriac.
They were sitting enjoying a delicious
baked potato with butter oozing over it when the stinky stench announced the
Devil’s arrival.
“Ah ha! Good. Looks like loads. Give me my
half!”
“Certainly. Your half was the TOP half of
the harvest. It’s over there,” and Jack pointed to a big pile of twisted stems
and yellowing leaves.
“WHAAAAT? Right next year I’ll have the
bottom half of the harvest. You won’t trick me again” and with a puff he’d
gone.
Next year Jack and Mary set off to the
town and bought seeds, sowed, watered and weeded and worked hard. Come the
harvest they had a bumper crop of cabbages, celery, lettuce, spinach, pumpkins,
courgettes, marrows, chard, asparagus, cauliflower.
They were sitting enjoying a sumptuous
pumpkin soup when the pongy puff
of smoke heralded the Devil’s arrival.
“Ah ha! Even better. Looks like loads more
this year. Give me my half!”
“Certainly. Your half was the BOTTOM half
of the harvest. It’s over there,” and Jack pointed to a big pile of rotting
roots and wiggly worms.
“WHAAAAT? Right next year I’ll have the
top half AND the bottom half of the harvest. You can have what’s inbetween. You
DEFINTELY won’t trick me again” and with a puff he’d gone.
Next year Jack and Mary set off to the
town and bought seeds, sowed, watered and weeded and worked hard. Come the
harvest they had a bumper crop of tomatoes, cucumbers, peas, beans, brussel sprouts,
corn on the cob, and lots of berries and fruit. Everything that dangled
inbetween root and tip!
They were sitting enjoying a colourful
salad and juicy fruit when the
whiffy wind declared the Devil’s arrival.
“Ah ha! Soooo much better. Looks like even
more this year. Give me my top half and my bottom part of the crop!”
“Certainly. Your top and bottom part of
the harvest. It’s over there,” and Jack pointed to a huge pile of rotting roots
and wiggly worms, twisted stems and yellowing leaves.
“WHAAAAT? No, no, no, no, no! You have
tricked me out of my rent three times. Enough! Tonight is the final test. We
shall meet at midnight on the bridge. I shall bring a creature and you will
bring a creature. Who so ever can not name the other’s creature forfeits the
right to the house and land. See you at midnight.” and with a puff of smoke
he’d gone.
“What will do? The Devil can travel
anywhere in this world and others. There is no way we will be able to name his
creature or present him with a creature that he does not know. Better get
packing now Mary,” said Jack.
“Wait a moment,” said Mary. Jack watched
in amazement as his wife took out a great pot of honey, smothered herself in
it, split open the feather pillow and rolled herself around in the flurry. Then
she smeared soot on her face from the fireplace, made a skirt of clanking pans
round her waist, fixed a broom behind her as a tail and fixed a carrot on her
nose. She was the most extraordinary creature that Jack had ever seen. “The
Devil will never be able to name me,” said Mary.
“Now put this garland of garlic on the end
of the bridge. You can be sure that the Devil will bring some creature from the
underworld and they are terrified of garlic”.
Just before midnight Jack and Mary hid
behind the bushes by the bridge. The town clock struck midnight and the clouds
parted from in front of the moon and there, silhouetted against the sky was a
great leathery winged, three tailed, clawed creature with the Devil riding on
its back.
As it got closer to the bridge it swirled
one, twice then reared up back into the clouds screeching. The Devil kicked it
on again, trying to land on the bridge. But again it flew round and round and
screeched refusing to go anywhere near the bridge.
The Devil was getting furious, “Come on
you stupid Rabblewouldbegone, land or else there will be trouble!”
The creature landed on the far side of the
bridge to where the garlic and Jack and Mary were hidden.
“Right Jack. Tell me, what is this
creature? If you can”, the Devil stood proudly with the vast monster towering
above him.
Jack plucked up all his courage and
strolled casually towards the Devil. “Why it’s a Rabblewouldbegone. I’ve not
seen one for a while, but I think that’s one of the smaller ones.”
“WHAAAAAAT??? Ah, but you’ve not won yet,
you have to bring me a creature that I cant name and I have been everywhere and
seen everything, there cant be a single thing that you could show me that I
couldn’t name....” the Devil’s voice trailed off as the most peculiar creature
appeared on the far side of the bridge.
Jack led the “Mary creature” onto the
bridge.
“Yes, that’s a....of course it’s a....why I know
that it’s....OOOOOOHHHH PAH!” and with that the Devil leapt on the back of the
Rabblewouldbegone, rose up steeply into the sky, the clouds closed behind him
and Jack and Mary never saw him again
